Bloodlust, · Bloodlust, · for · this · boy.

My Valentines day was amazing!! I'm one happy ladie.

All this was included. I have a wonderful boyfriend. :D

my birthday is in 45 minutes and my boyfriend is prolly gonna miss it. it takes 35 mins to get here from his place and he hasnt even left. GAH!!!! haha. ooh well. happy birthday to me! tomorrow will be fun.

My friends are stupid. And you can quote me on that.
Your not a good friend if your not there for each other.
Your not a good friend if you dont know what's going on in each others lifes.
Your not a good friend if you dont care.
Your not a good friend if you keep flaking, to do something else.
This does not include Zachary. But it goes for pretty much everyone else.
I need to stop caring about people that dont care about me.
Besides Ruben and Eddie I dont think I've gotten a phone call or hung out with anyone else for the past 2 1/2 weeks or so.
WHATEVE.
I had to go to the ER the other day. I had a spinal tap done to me. That shit is no joke. :( My body has been going crazy but I got a bunch of pills and nonesence so hopefully I'll be feeling better.
Saturday I get time with Eddie. I've gotta last 4 days without him and I must say it's really hard. But I'm almost there. I hate liking someone. It's honestly a pain in the ass because you dont know what's going on and it's way to soon to ask. But i'm hanging in there. He just got online so I'm gonna go talk to him.

I feel nothing. Tho I want more of it.
I'm empty, I'm weightless,
I'm not here, but i want to be some where else.
I'm nothing, I'm lost.
and I want more of this feeling.
I don't want to be found,
I'm comfortable, I'm dead.
I'm blank, I'm hollow.
I am not afraid. It's peaceful.
I feel nothing.
~~~~

It's not drugs.. i just feel this way today. bah!

i met someone that i want to take serious. it's the first time in years.
im going to stop dating around and let things with this guy take it's course.
it's the first time im going to let things with matt take a turn.
everything is brand new, but so far it's been amazing.
he is relationship kinda guy. he's been the most wonderful thing to come into my life all year.
in the 2 night's he has stayed with me and the couple times we hung out he hasnt tried anything with me!! i am SOOOOO in love with the fact we have only kissed once and it was just a small kiss goodbye. haha. we just started to hang out this week so to me things are going the way it should.
ooh yeah he's name is josh.

<3